My Irrevocable Damnation

This past weekend marked the end of my existence among good, Christian souls.  My cataclysmic descent began innocently as a celebration of dear friend Becky’s 24th birthday.  Friends were there, but bitter enemies like

inspectorzutto

 were also in attendance – the volley flung from his gloved hand toward my motorcar would have been most deadly, if not for his lamentably poor aim.  I blame his failing vision on his liberal and excessive consumption of Bismuth.  Any further hostilities were stymied by Becky’s wisdom in holding the proceedings on hallowed ground.

Regretfully, he found another way to exercise his perverted whimsy, for after everyone had arrived, we adjourned to a Chinese dining establishment.  The group settled in at the table and perused the menu, upon which was printed ‘Appetizers’ and then…

Fried Pig Intestine. 

My soul recoiled at the words, and I felt a bitter chill enfold itself around my body.  I looked up to see Zutto’s monocled gaze locked upon me, a knowing sneer of the horrors that were to transpire.  I tore my eyes from him and looked back to the menu in a frenzied panic to avert unspeakable damnation.  Surely cream-laden dumplings and spring rolls were enough of an appetizer?  I perused the finer sweetmeats listed, treating that single line of errant text as a sort of void – a thing that men’s eyes were not meant to look upon.

Surely enough time had passed, I thought.  Surely the issue was settled, and prolonged awkward silence had won the day.  I risked a glance upward from the menu, only to see that leering face, that same ghastly look of triumphant anticipation!   He uttered the proclamation:

“I’ll try them if you will.”

 What was left of my sanity quavered within me.  Under the crushing pressure of his mad countenance I felt my body mouthing agreement – helplessly I watched as I spake the assent of my own doom.

In the time before the dread meal arrived, I enjoyed my last moments of life among free men.  The other guests were only fleetingly aware of the fel curse that had been wrought, and I tried my best to hide my mounting terror.  I pitifully dreamed of fleeing that place, but I knew I was henceforth bound to that chair, as if lashed down upon it by ropy, porcine strands of flesh.  My nemesis did not appear troubled at all, laughingly eager to thrust us both into the maw of Oblivion itself.

As moments passed, I allowed myself the barest sliver of fevered hope – each second that the doors of that nightmare kitchen remained sealed made it ever so slightly more possible that perhaps our order might not be filled, perhaps the ghoulish larders within had run empty.

The doors swung open.

The poor serving girl rushed towards us with her vile burden and hurled it down upon our table.  Its foul, ichorous steam had already consumed most of her face.  She collapsed, stricken, and did not move again.

Zutto’s eyes grew wide with sadistic pleasure as he looked upon that horrific plate loaded high with reeking offal.  I don’t think even he had planned for the full magnitude of his creation, his affliction, upon the two of us.  The meat was seared a slick crimson and emanated the stench of wet hog’s bowel boiled in oil.  With demonic glee, he proferred the dish to me and I, compelled by his hateful geas, procured a piece from the stinking pile and ate of it.

I will not attempt, dear reader, to convey to you the taste, the mouth-feel, the sensual unholiness of that scrap of meat.  I will merely say that once that morsel of filth crossed my lips, I knew that I was forever tainted, fallen – that I would never again know the taste of clean air or the light of the sun.  The walkways of heav’n will be forever unknown to me, and even the Adversary himself would turn me away. 

Zutto seemed pleased with himself, almost jovially content with the fate he had cobbled together for the two of us.  Perhaps his mad depravity insulates him from what he has done, both to us and to the entire world.

I, we, are forever broken now, and can only cling to the fleeting memories of life before that terrible day.